Childhood responses to present relationships

12/8/06 Childhood responses to present relationships.
The need to relate on a level with different ages is important to be aware of. If one relates as a parent then you will receive child like responses from the other. If one wants to elicit adult like responses then one needs to relate with the other as an adult and not as a parent or as a child. This dynamic can be seen in every area of life, work, home or in social situations. The perceptions are then related to positions one takes with respect to the other. These are emotional positions that one had as a child. Therefore if one had problems with parent figures then when approaching authority figures in the present will induce fear, guilt, hate or ambivalence. Likewise if one relates with another like a parent then this will induce authoritarian responses to the other which will evoke child like responses from the other. The emotions aroused will paralyse one’s thinking or at least will influence the perceptions of the other. To be aware of these distorted perceptions and feelings is the basis for therapy. This is to work through those ill feelings with a responsible adult and not be stunted by them. Many are not aware of this dynamic that occurs so automatically and overcomes a person in situations. It is best then to take a break, calm oneself and regain one’s position and go back and relate in a more equitable manner. Power relationships have this dynamic of distorting present relationships due to past unresolved and hurt feelings. In Christ one can be Christ in whatever situation and not give into those hurtful feelings of childhood. This is the way to heal the hurt child and be in control of those feelings. Addictions are a symptom of those unhealed feelings that drive one to resort to behaviours that destroy rather then build. The root of those addictions are in hurt feelings of childhood. Once evoked they remain in control at a subconscious level till they are released and the person healed from their torment.