VIEW OTHERS AS SEPARATE FROM YOURSELF

View people as separate from yourself. This separation allows others to feel respected and not an extension of you. This is especially so for close relationships. When others feel treated as extensions of your self then they will resist this and rebel. Children will rebel against this as part of their separation and individuation process. Spouses will also resist this and want to separate. It will feel suffocating to be an extension of another. You need to be able to express your own thoughts and feelings and not be bullied to accept what others say.When you are able to be free in a relationship then you are accepted for who you are. When one enters a family you will know how it feels to be in the family. If suffocated then you know there is a dominant person who treats others as extensions of themselves. There needs to be structure without dominance. Structure serves to enable the family to fulfil its function. A clear structure enables individuals to function without losing their identity. A structural analysis enables one to assess how a group functions. A group with clear boundaries functions as a system that will communicate clearly and not be overwhelmed by feelings. Feelings are kept in control within a system with clear boundaries. Unclear boundaries leads to chaos and feelings control the system. Clarifying boundaries is the key to functional living.